that crazy thing called life

Don't get me wrong I'm no expert but I know what I don't want and most of what I do want! I want the best of the best for my kids, even when I don't agree with it. I want to be loved by a person that wants nothing but me to fill the space in their heart, kids don't count they have a totally different love in your heart. So why is it so hard to have these things?? I was never told how hard all of this would be and how unhappy it would make me from time to time. I want this love and I wish it would come from my husband but it seems like every time life is going good to moderately great, something happens. Like finding pictures on his phone of some random things going on in a bar from almost a month ago, or pictures in his bag of some random person. No they are not naked or interacting with each other in anyway, but still, who in the hell is this whack-a-doodle that I married? Why is it that I seem to have such shitty luck with boys, guys, men whatever in the hell ya wanna call em!!